Off Duty Mom

Thoughts from an exhausted mom who is NEVER really "off duty"

I’m just not that kind of mom

After spending three and a half years lamenting the fact that every other mother seems to have her shit in order so much better than I do, I spent an uncomfortably large portion of my day cleaning poop from my clothes, a baby’s clothes, the carpet, my hands, a baby’s bum (and back and leg and foot and neck and ear and hair), tripping over Lincoln Logs, and eating only an ice cream sandwich and a diet cream soda to help provide sustenance for my day.  Right now, my 6-month old is chewing on a dog toy.  But, at least he’s quiet and content.  And, frankly, the dog has never played with it, anyway.

I beat myself up a whole lot because everyone else seemed to do parenthood with much greater success than I.  But, I think I have come to a place where I am willing to admit just what kind of mom I am and am not.  And, I think that I am ready to declare that I simply am who I am.

I am just not that kind of mom who-

Where will the cuteness end?

 *makes cake pops decorated like little brown-spotted cows who have tiny chocolate chips for ears.

 *thinks that going to the grocery store with two kids is a good idea because an outing for them will be “fun.”

 *vaccuums every day.

 *is sad and bored when both children happen to be napping at the same time.

 *remembers to send in valentines/Christmas cookies/Halloween candy/Easter eggs for all the other little kids at preschool.  Seriously, if it is a rule, please just tell me so I can go to the bakery.  Otherwise, don’t look at me like I am a total moron when I don’t show up at 8:00 with freshly baked cookies and holiday-themed Pez dispensers.

 *wakes up in the morning before cries/complaints/whines/taps on the shoulder from one or both children force me to get out of bed.

 *makes a hot breakfast more than once a week (or month…).

 *knows how to say “boo-boo,” “pee-pee,” and “widdle cutie-patootie” without sounding like an idiot.

Moon Sand -- never dries out (and never cleans up -- ever)

So, if you ARE the kind of mom who wakes up every morning, makes pancakes, knows all the Wiggles songs, runs behind a jogging stroller, has time to shower, wears make-up to the supermarket, thinks Moon Sand is fun to play with and sings Julie Andrews songs on-key, perhaps this is not the blog for you…

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6 thoughts on “I’m just not that kind of mom

  1. I think you and I are of the same mommy mold! I believe if the baby is happy, let him have the dog toy! And, I completely sent a bag of blow pops leftover from Halloween in for Valentine’s Day for my son’s 1st grade class. Totally forgot about the VD party. 🙂

    • Awesome. The thing is, in my heart, I really want to bake cookies and host sleepovers and decorate my house for EVERY holiday. But, at the end of the day I just don’t know where I would get the energy and motivation. I admire those who are not of our mold, frankly, but I might as well just be real about who I actually am! 🙂

  2. kateluthner79 on said:

    sorry if I’m over commenting but I’m reading backwards here. I am in a very similar boat except still working (until #3 is born in like 90 days (omg)). I read a blog ages ago that had the phrase ‘don’t compare your inside with someones outside’. Remembering that helps me plenty.

  3. Pingback: To be (myself) or not to be (and bake cookies from scratch insead) « Off Duty Mom

  4. unnamed on said:

    wow! super!

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