Shakespeare in the bathroom
If you are a parent of a child under age 8 and you have read a book in the last year, please tell me two things:
1. What was the book?
2. How the fuck did you find time to read a book?
I never was very bookish as a kid. I actually hated reading for a large portion of my life. And, yet I became an English major in college. Go figure. I am a fabulous mystery.
Nevertheless, as an adult, and ever since The DaVinci Code (the book, not the movie. The movie suuuuuucked), I have been on a quest for the ultimate page-turner. And, by “quest,” nowadays I, of course, mean “wishful thinking that I might get ten uninterrupted minutes to read a good book.
Not Fifty Shades of Grey. A GOOD book.
So, I am looking for suggestions so when I sneak a few minutes in the bathroom every now and again, I can fumble my way through a page or two of literature. And, by the way, tell NO ONE of my bathroom secret. No one has to poop that much, people. Come on. I am just trying to get some peace and quiet. Some day, I fear they will catch on…
And, I should have you know that I am a total book snob. Please do not recommend I sink my teeth into some bodice-ripper or junk novel written by a stay-at-home-mom. No disrespect to SAHMs. I am sure many of you are very literate. But, I am looking for something to hang in there with my loves of Hamlet and Native Son. I don’t mean to imply that working moms could fill this void, either. AUTHORS of merit can do it for me, though. Classics. Enduring craftsmanship. Art. Well-themed wordsmithery.
So, suggest away, friends. I am all ears. Until I have to make dinner. And by “dinner,” I, of course, mean “an order to the local Chinese takeout place.”