Ways I will judge you
I am not terribly likeable in person.
It’s okay. I’m cool with that. People who get to know me learn that what appears to be a proclivity toward stuck-uppitude is actually a little anxiety and a whole lot of self-consciousness.
Just because I tend toward the shy side in small groups doesn’t mean that I am not just a little stuck-up, though.
For example, I will make fairly irreversible judgments about…
1. Your ability to use “THERE,” “THEIR” and “THEY’RE” correctly in writing.
2. Whether you are out in public wearing an anklet.
3. Whether you open the door for others.
4. How firm your handshake is.
5. Whether you drink any type of wine (sparkling or otherwise) that is pink in color.
6. Whether I can say the words “oligarchy,” “cerebral,” “phantasmagorical,” “echelon” and “fuck” in your presence without feeling either condescending or chastised.
7. Whether you have read a book – in its entirety – in the past 6 months.
8. How nice your teeth are.
9. Whether you ignore your children when they attempt to run around among all the tables at Olive Garden.
10. How much very personal information you post about on Facebook.
What about you? Anything you see in others that you just can’t help judging immediately?